I recently had lunch with my boys from out of state. One of them is a friend I have known since high school. Actually we didn’t used to be friends when we were teenagers but he has turned out to be a great friend. When we all hang out, I feel like one of the guys. I love it; I truly do. I left that lunch feeling sad that it was ending, but also I started thinking that it is a good thing I don’t take offense to some of the things they say.
Then I finally had a chance to see The Bachelor, After the Final Rose. I will admit that I love Juan Pablo. I do or I did. I am not sure how I feel other than just confused. I want to feel that he is just misunderstood, but another side of me just says that he is a big selfish jerk that says what he wants no matter how it comes across. How painful the entire show was to watch. It truly was. So here is what I came up with:
1. Never tell a woman that her hair doesn’t look THAT bad.
To a woman, this says your hair looks bad, but it isn’t that bad. It also screams “Hey! You will look bad until you grow your hair out again!” If you don’t like it, then just don’t say anything.
2. Never say that you aren’t 100% sure of being with her but you know you don’t want to say goodbye either.
Don’t be selfish. If you know for sure that the woman isn’t for you then don’t string her along. Men…I know it is hard but zip up your pants and just walk away. Some of us woman carry our hearts on our sleeves and we think you are with us because you love us deep down. Just leave if you don’t. PLEASE don’t just say “I like you alot” with a wink and offer up a rose that has no promises and no love. Just don’t.
3. You look fine.
Please don’t say it. If your woman is having a hard time picking out clothes and she asks your opinion then just say she looks good. Saying the word “fine” is a trigger word to some women. You might think it means they look good because you are ready to just leave, while the woman takes it like all she looks is just ok. We don’t want to look just ok to you.
4. I miss you as much as I miss any other girlfriend.
I don’t even think I need to comment on this one. Every woman wants to feel special. Any comparison to an ex OR ALL EXES is just wrong. Say goodbye to her now if you do that.
5. There is a tie for #5……
Saying “relax” or “up to you” or “it’s ok”.
All are annoying. If I am upset, I don’t need my man telling me to relax or that it is ok when I am probably upset about something you said or did. Instead of saying those things, maybe put yourself in your lady’s shoes for once and try to understand.
As for “up to you”, sometimes a woman wants a man to take charge. I know, I KNOW…the whole caveman/feminist thing…I know…I am not saying to be controlling. I am saying to “man up” every now and then. Sometimes, your woman just wants to know if you have an independent thought.
And one more thing….don’t talk in circles. Say what you mean and say what you feel. Word.